Where are all the dumb 'narcissists'?

Narcissism and intelligence

Why do narcissistic people have to be so clever with their important ideas? Whether it is the senior colleague or the political leader or the gaslighting partner, we don’t seem to describe someone as narcissistic unless they show a kind of intellectual strength, power or mental acrobatics. Why can’t ‘narcissists’ be dumb, intelligent and everything in between? Or is this just a stereotype?

In the western world, we have come to put massive value on intellectual intelligence. Why do I call it ‘intellectual intelligence’? Because there is also ‘emotional intelligence’. ‘IQ’ scores reflect two broad areas of intellectual intelligence: verbal intelligence and visuo-spacial intelligence. Our leaders went to top universities to prove specifically how intellectually intelligent they are. They got perhaps a first in English Literature and philosophy, which goes a long way to qualifying them, apparently, to be minister for foreign affairs.

But in 1990, Peter Salovey and John Mayer concluded that there is another dimension to intelligence, described as,

“a type of social intelligence that involves the ability to monitor one's own and others' emotions, to discriminate among them, and to use the information to guide one's thinking and actions”¹

Psychologist Daniel Goldman went on to propose the concept of emotional intelligence which has been widely accepted². But in 2024, when we in the West call someone intelligent, we still don’t mean this in a rounded kind of way. When we say “intelligent”, we still tend to mean intellectually intelligent. And this distinction is relevant to narcissism.

Let’s return to my question: why are there no ‘dumb narcissists’?? I’m going to look at two particular explanations for the perception that narcissistic people have higher-than-average intelligence.

Firstly, two of the main narcissistic strategies for finding distance from emotional vulnerability and shame, are to be admired and to be self-sufficient³. Appearing to be intelligent (by reading a lot or displaying whatever knowledge you do have) might go a long way to achieving both. Iconic actor/director Charles Chaplin grew up in poverty (see Chaplin post) and created a life of performance and world-wide admiration. He also discovered an intense hunger to learn. Looking back, he later described this in a way that makes it sound like a strategy for maintaining distance from the feeling of shame:

“I wanted to know, not for knowledge but as a defence against the world’s contempt for the ignorant”⁴ (Charles Chaplin)

I should say that this requires ability. Being genuinely intellectually intelligent will increase the success of this strategy and might make it more likely the strategy to choose.

The second explanation cuts to the heart of what narcissism is. For some people, emotional vulnerability during infancy and childhood was experienced as unsafe and unmanageable (see theory post). The ever-adaptable human child has to then find a strategy to deal with the fact that connecting to their vulnerability and expressing it just doesn’t help – or makes it worse (the parent figure reacts in such a way as to create more uncomfortable feelings). As a result, feelings of helplessness, fear, sadness and shame – vulnerable feelings - become unmanageable. They become experiences to avoid – like a phobia. This is why narcissism is cold. It’s priority is to stay away from feeling.

Psychiatrist Alexander Lowen states that,

“the absence of feeling is the basic disturbance in the narcissistic personality”⁵

Most psychologists describe narcissism, at its core, as a way of achieving distance from vulnerable feelings in ourselves (and a lack of empathy for others is a consequence of this). A problem with vulnerability, of course, is not what narcissism looks like, because in order to achieve distance from vulnerability, the person creates a persona or mask. By definition this mask cannot appear vulnerable. And by design, it will need to help generate feelings that create distance from vulnerability and shame. The constructed mask might promote admiration from others, fear in others or power in themselves – anything far away from vulnerability and shame.

Actor Marlon Brando

So, in order to gain distance from vulnerable feelings in themselves, the narcissistic person can find power (hello politicians), they can find admiration (hello celebrities), they can judge others (hello gaslighting partners and police), or they can find a role in relation to others who are defined as vulnerable (hello psychologists). But before they carve out a role for themselves in society, and even before they go out into the world of school and work, there is another strategy that can be developed. In order to find distance from their emotional mind, they can pour all mental resources into their intellectual mind. These two ‘minds’ are in different places. The emotional amygdala is evolutionarily much older and closer to the brain stem. The intellect lives largely in the frontal lobes of the brain. Although it is perfectly possible (and healthy) to think and feel at the same time, there is a use of intellect that serves as a kind of ‘dissociation’ (disconnection) from directly experienced emotion. To stay away from feelings, you can think.

Psychoanalysis has for a long time named ‘intellectualisation’ as a ‘defence’ against feeling – in those for whom feeling has become, during childhood, unmanageable or unsafe. This defence, or protection strategy, is seen most prominently in narcissism³. It has been called a “think rather than feel strategy”.⁶ Over time, the child and then the adult, becomes preoccupied with intellectual activity. This tendency might become more noticeable when vulnerable feelings are provoked. Over time, the intellect is over-exercises, and the strategy over embedded. School might be a good place to be. Teachers (and emotionally neglectful parents) identify the child as ‘bright’. Being ‘intelligent’ becomes part of the person’s identity. It starts to define their strengths, personality and their career.

Marilyn Monroe reading one of her third husband’s plays

For some who are narcissistic, admiration and performance become established as a main strategy for finding distance from vulnerability. This is a defining strategy in the celebrities I have looked at so far in this blog. But I have been thinking about how these icons might have more in common than their sculpted and distinct personas want to let on. Did they have this intellectual preoccupation in common? Marilyn Monroe discovered reading through her third husband, playwright Arthur Miller. Some close to Marilyn noticed that the ‘dumb’ in her ‘dumb blonde’ reputation was actually as much a part of a crafted persona as anything else⁷. John Lennon was a failure at school because of his disruptive and aggressive behaviour. But he became consumed with creating cartoons with dark jokes and the writing of poems from an early age as an escape. He was later admired for his quick irreverent wit in interviews and for his prolific song writing word-play. Marlon Brando, the brooding actor, was described by his drama school teacher, Stella Adler, as a “genius”. He was the only pupil who would come to her house and borrow books from her extensive library of classics. Rapper Tupac Shakur was described as having a “voracious intellectual appetite”⁸ His school librarian said,

“He read a lot of plays, poetry, and checked a lot of books out on art. He was interested in a wide variety of books even at his young age.”⁸

Looking at each of these icons through a lens of narcissism, we might think of performance as their main narcissistic strategy for finding distance from vulnerability and shame. But given the smallest opportunity to appear, this intellectual preoccupation was also found, whether that fitted with their distinct public persona or not. If this is true for singers and actors, what would we predict about the politically famous?

So, what is the connection between narcissism and apparent intelligence? It seems that narcissism mimics or enhances the appearance of intellectual intelligence for two reasons: a need to look intelligent and a genuine preoccupation with and exercising of intellectual mental activity. I think the combination of these two things is part of what we experience in narcissism.

This intellectual preoccupation, in the modern world, can clearly be a strength; provoking admiration and leading to success. It might have got your CEO where they are today. It might be what draws people to your partner at parties. But it might also betray an avoidance of something. When we have to tell our partner that a family member has died, perhaps it exposes a weakness. When your director needs to think about how ethnic minority employees were made to feel by an insensitive newsletter, it can lead to an exodus of experienced employees. When there has been another mass shooting, a cold rational response can add to devastation and division. When two countries are on the edge of war, an insensitive provocative remark can take them over the edge. When the ageing leader’s intellect starts to fail, an inability to accept vulnerabilities and to choose who to ask for help can be catastrophic.

We tend to promote narcissism, with its intellectual preoccupation. We ask it to lead us. We appoint it as our cultural icons. Perhaps in our partners, our bosses and our leaders, we need to choose, promote and vote also for the emotional dimensions of intelligence – those qualities that make human beings function in pairs and in groups and as nations. Narcissism is rarely dumb – not intellectually. But then, intellect is only one part of intelligence.

Putting aside his outfit as the comic ‘Tramp’, actor/director Charles Chaplin appears in court in 1944 charged with trafficking Joan Barry for “immoral purposes”

Disclaimer: All views expressed are my own unless otherwise stated, and do not necessarily reflect the views of any institution I have been employed by. The content here is for information and should not be interpreted as advice.

References

1.     Salovey, P., & Mayer, J.D. (1990). Emotional intelligence. Imagination, Cognition, and Personality. 9, 185-211.

2.     Mayer, J. and Salovey, P. (1993). The Intelligence of Emotional Intelligence. Intelligence, 17 433-442.

3.     Diamond, D., Yeomans, F.E., Stern, B.L. & Kernberg, O.F. (2022) Treating Pathological Narcissism with Transference Focussed Therapy. Guildford

4.     Ackroyd, P. (2014). Charlie Chaplin. Vintage Books.

5.     Lowen, A. (1997). Narcissism: Denial of the True Self. Touchstone.

6.     Crittenden P.M. (1995). Attachment and psychopathology. In Attachment Theory: Social, Developmental and Clinical Perspectives, Goldberg S, Muir R, Kerr J (eds). Analytic Press: Hillsdale, NJ.

7.     Taraborrelli, J.R. (2009). The Secret Life of Marilyn Monroe. Pan.

8.     Robinson, S. (2023). Tupac Shakur: The Authorised Biography. Century.